Missed

It's been almost 20 months since my sweet baby boy was born into Heaven.  20 months of missed milestones, 20 months of tears and prayers, 20 months of just wishing I had a few seconds to hold him again, and 20 months living this new normal.  In those 20 months, I have relearned how to live day by day.  I guess to most people I look like I am completely healed but they do not understand that I will never be healed.  I will always be missing a piece of my heart.

Today was one of those days that hits you like a ton of bricks.  I have good days and bad days but after 20 months I have more good then bad.  Tyler has really taught me the true meaning of life, to live each moment and never take life for granted.  I miss him every second of every day and you know what that is ok.  Never let anyone tell you that you child is any less important because they no longer live.  I will always be the Mama of two amazing little boys.  I had to listen to that today and it took all of my courage not to get all worked up.  I just quietly whispered in my head to Tyler that I love him and I am so blessed to have him as my first born son.  I will always be thankful for him.

I do need prayers.  I have a friend of a friend that recently lost her son Cohen.  I messaged her on facebook and I haven't been able to respond back.  I keep praying that I will find the perfect words to help her but I type and type and nothing I say seems to fit.  Please keep Cohen and his sweet family in your prayers and pray for me that I would be able to be a shoulder to his sweet Mama.