As I was sticking the page back into the calendar my hand started to shake and I almost teared up. Then I looked up and said, "Yes baby boy! I know you are excited about your birthday coming up."
I know that in Heaven my baby feels no sadness and that makes me happy, but I can't help but feel sadness when I think of all the milestones I have missed during the 10 months of his life in Heaven.
I don't have pictures of his growing teeth, I don't have a video of him saying his first words, and I don't get to smile proudly as I see him take his first steps. No mother should miss these things, but I've learned that nothing is guaranteed.
Then this morning when I woke up the October page was laying on the counter again. I knew what my baby was trying to tell me, his birthday wasn't marked on the calendar. "I won't forget your birthday little man!" So I took out the pen and write down the most important date.
So, today I learned that Tyler is super excited about turning one. I know that birthdays in Heaven must be amazing and that isn't even a good word to describe it. I wish with all my heart that I could be with him on October 6th to kiss and hug on him, but I can't. I do know that one day I will have that day and there will be no more sadness.
