First Birthday Reminder

A few days ago when I woke up I noticed that one of the pages in our calendar had fallen out onto the kitchen counter.  When I picked up the page, I noticed it was the month of October.  Ugh!  Big slap in the face.

As I was sticking the page back into the calendar my hand started to shake and I almost teared up.  Then I looked up and said, "Yes baby boy!  I know you are excited about your birthday coming up."

I know that in Heaven my baby feels no sadness and that makes me happy, but I can't help but feel sadness when I think of all the milestones I have missed during the 10 months of his life in Heaven.

I don't have pictures of his growing teeth, I don't have a video of him saying his first words, and I don't get to smile proudly as I see him take his first steps.  No mother should miss these things, but I've learned that nothing is guaranteed.

Then this morning when I woke up the October page was laying on the counter again.  I knew what my baby was trying to tell me, his birthday wasn't marked on the calendar.  "I won't forget your birthday little man!"  So I took out the pen and write down the most important date.

So, today I learned that Tyler is super excited about turning one.  I know that birthdays in Heaven must be amazing and that isn't even a good word to describe it.  I wish with all my heart that I could be with him on October 6th to kiss and hug on him, but I can't.  I do know that one day I will have that day and there will be no more sadness.