There Will Be a Day

Ryan and I just got back home from seeing family this weekend. It's great to be surrounded by such love and support, but it makes coming back to Houston even harder. Tomorrow is Ryan's first day back at work and tomorrow is the start of me being at home by myself. Honestly, I'm scared to be alone but I think it will be good for me. I've been overworking myself and it will be good to rest. Plus it will give me a chance to write some thank you notes and finish the books that I have started.

It's so difficult to be 34 weeks pregnant and then all of sudden you aren't and you don't have a baby to hold and take care of. My body still thinks there is a baby and I'm going through all the symptoms that a normal postpartum mom encounters. It hurts physically and mentally and makes me miss Tyler even more.

I finished his ultrasound photo album and I carry it with me everywhere. It has all the photos that we have of him and it helps to look at them. They make me smile because it makes me think of all the wonderful active times when he was in my tummy.

I talk to Tyler often and it helps to know that he can hear me, I just hope that he knows that I love him more then anything. I just wish I could hold him and kiss him again.

My faith keeps me going and I have to keep the faith for Tyler. That way I know that I will see him again one day and I know that he will run up to me as I come up to the gate.

I keep saying the lyrics to this Jeremy Camp song over and over again. It helps me and gives me something to look forward too.

There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face

There will be a day, He’ll wipe away the stains, He’ll wipe away the tears, He’ll wipe away the tears…..there will be a day.